Cereal is Gross

Cereal is a terrible breakfast food.

First off, have you ever been excited about cereal? At a breakfast buffet, are like, "Hmm, what will I- OH MAN CHEERIOS." No, it's something you have when you don't know what you want for breakfast. That already places it at a pretty mediocre level right off the bat.

You start off. You pour little tasteless flakes covered in sugaring glaze or whatnot, stuff that's barely passable as low-class trail mix, into a bowl. Then you soak them in milk, which isn't too bad since milk rocks, but have you ever tried to drink milk in the morning, just after you've woken up? It feels thick and tasteless and you can barely force the stuff down your throat, yet it's somehow passable if we put it on cereal.

So you start off eating it. It's okay. nothing really leaps out at you, but knowing cereal, all the dust and gribblets are going to be on top, sticking you with eating flavored sand while all the flakes and stuff worth eating drowns in milk. When you get to them, they are devoid of taste and completely soaked. And of course, there is the age old question of how much milk to put in a bowl? Too much, and it's just soggy goop. Too little, and you're basically eating crackers for breakfast.

And, when you're finally done, you look, disappointed, at the pool of bronwish milky remains, which is all that's left. Drinking it is the last thing you want to do, but you feel guilty leaving half of that crap still in there. Whenever I pour it into the disposal, it feels like I'm defiling my sink.

And after all this, it's still not enough! Have you ever tried to get through a morning on nothing but a bowl of cereal? It's the equivalent of crossing the Saharah desert with a bottle of water, or that's what it seems like when you're staring at the lock, willing lunchtime to come faster.

It's ridiculous. And yet, I still eat it every morning.